Aug 27, 2008

it sucks

just try write in English again, for fun ? or for Practice, anyway. (This word maybe was the most frequently used in our Office, why do this, oh, i don't know, anyway try it, why do that, don't know, anyway , try it again...Anyway, it also use 'anyway' here. it's almost 2a.m. but i don't want to go to bed now. Just now when i was reviewing my blog posts in the past several years, some strange sounds overheard from the opened window. A kind of sound that seems generated by a woman enjoying making love, but i not sure what it on earth is.
after reviewing all kinds post in various blogger created by me in different blog service providers, the self-appreciation intensified. when reviewing a post just posted,i always felt ashamed about my naive tone and the sentiment smelt from it. but then long time passed, i will like it , like its author-poter, myself. maybe just because when time gone by, then i can recognize the sincerety and authentity of spontaneous writing.
another thread-----
almost two mouths ago , Papa introduced me a girl . a tall-taller than me ,and beautiful girl .We have been in contact until now. She certainly at some point be proud of her beauty and charm. And told me that many boys engaged for Her. Tonight she also told me that I was a boy suitable for marriage , but just for it-that means not for romantic love, right?
and she confirmly asserted that I had't have sex with any girl now, deduced from my conservative attitude about boy-to-girl affairs.
i felt deeply depressed about Her conclusion. just for marriage but not romantic love . are them in exclusive contradiction ?
You know in China , I am not sure how about the condition in other parts of the human world. Marriage means more responsibility and family chores that romantic, and in contemporary Chinese society, many youngs prefer to the seperation of love and family life. When in love, they can freely enjoy sweet time, wild but excited sex without caring about future . Girls always are consumed by handsome and hippe boys. But when get older , they will switch to boys of other type who can give them security and love loyralty .
They will choose those hard-working and simple men as marriage target.
there is an ironic question?
Should be thoes boys always waiting for being chosen?
no romantic , no sex, just hard-working to wait for being checked and chosen ? ?
i realized that life for them just means hard-working, low-key in social life, and once be chose, take all the responsibilities of heavy butter-and -bread job, and worser, always overhelmed by the worriment that his wife misses her ex-boyfriend , enjoyes the "good old time " shared by them ,or further dates with ex-bf confidencially.
it sucks.

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